


Beginning of the end

by Kaikyuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Character Death, Delusions, Denial, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt No Comfort, Inarizaki, I’m probably gonna cry writing this, I’m sorry twins, Loneliness, M/M, Major Illness, Memory Loss, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Miya Atsumu Swears, Sad Miya Atsumu, Seizures, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, dying, he really cares about his team, kita Shinsuke is a good captain, long slow death, no happy ending, potentially happy outcome??, sakusa is trying to be supportive, sick, suna is on the verge of a mental breakdown
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaikyuu/pseuds/Kaikyuu
Summary: It happened so suddenly, nobody could’ve expected Osamu Miya to drop to the floor in the middle of practice. Some may say that was the beginning of the end for the grey haired twin. Atsumu knew the time he had left with his twin brother was limited but never would he be prepared to say goodbye to him. He would do all he could to keep his brother alive for just a day longer.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 12
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know for certain I’m going to cry writing this. This is going to be a series and the first fic I’ve really wrote? So any feedback would be nice if it’s not mean :,) I’m not sure why this idea popped in my head but I wanted to write it. Anyways triggers are listed in the tags however I’ll mention the main ones here 
> 
> TW for this chapter 
> 
> Brain tumour  
> Seizures

They were a few weeks off their 17th birthday when it happened. To be completely honest it was the scariest thing Atsumu had ever witnessed. Watching the younger twin fall to the ground his body seizing and jerking in an unnatural manner. Naturally Atsumu was the first to lunge forward and go to the aid of his twin brother but a strong grip held him back, Atsumu’s head whipped around to face his upper class men, Aran. The older male had a strong grip on Atsumu’s upper arm so no matter how hard he tried to shove him away it just wasn’t working. Kita remained calm and collected as usual as he was the one to approach the Male in the midst of his fit. Slipping his jacket off folding it neatly and placing it underneath Osamu’s head to cushion it to prevent him from hurting himself. “It’s a seizure.” Kita announced calmly. “Atsumu, has Osamu ever experienced anything of the sort before?” He asked. At this moment Atsumu had stopped fighting Aran and shook his head slightly. “Call an ambulance.” Kita ordered at no one in particular his eyes locked on the grey haired twin waiting for his body to stop convulsing in its own time. Kita kept note on how long the seizure had lasted for and the exact time it started and the exact time it finished. Eventually when the jerking came to a steady stop Kita moved the younger into the recovery position and spoke calmly to him. Of course everyone knew how stern Kita could be but how much he genuinely cared about his entire team. Atsumu couldn’t do anything other than stand in shock staring off into the distance eventually snapping out of it in his own time. He stared at Kita who could feel Atsumu’s eyes bore into him as he eventually relented and signalled him over. Atsumu crouched next to the shorter beside his brother who looked utterly exhausted taking deep breathes he could see his body still shaking but that was probably out of fear.

“So he’s never experienced anything like this before, You’re 100 percent certain?” Kita asked again. Atsumu shook his head. 

“No. Never..”

“Any contributing factors that could have brought it on?” Kita pushed for more answers considering they were twins Kita was certain the two knew each other better than anyone else. 

“Well..” Atsumu mumbled wracking his brain for any information. “He did say he’s had a really bad headache for the last few days.” Atsumu muttered expecting to get it in the neck from his captain. 

“And you let him play?” Kita said calmly but there was ice behind his words that sent chills down Atsumu’s spine as he hastily nodded. Kita sighed deciding not to scold the blonde twin further as he heard sirens approaching the school. “You should go with him.” Kita suggested but Atsumu knew that was very much an order not that Atsumu would leave his brother alone right now. After that every thing just whizzed by. They arrived at the hospital and his brother was immediately taken away for tests and different kinds of examinations to find a conclusion. This meant Atsumu had to play the waiting game for a reasoning to all this. Around half an hour after arrival the twins parents showed up. It was w painful but entirely beneficial.

Finally a Doctors called them other and explained the situation at hand. The words Brain tumour slipped from the Doctors mouth and time just seemed to stop still. They mentioned there was a high possibility it was cancerous but they were still running tests to see if that was conclusive. The Doctor reassured them that Osamu was in the best hands yet that didn’t change how he felt. Atsumu hadn’t cried yet but as the doctor turned and left the older twin collapsed to the floor she sobbed. His mother crouched next to him and rubbed soothing circles on his back. “Is he gonna die?” Atsumu whipped around to face her tears streaming down his face. His mother wrapped her arms around his trembling body. 

“Your brother is strong, he’ll be okay.” She told the older twin who just nodded unsure.

From that day forward everything seemed to tumble down hill. It had been 2 years since his diagnosis, Atsumu was in his first year of college, Osamu should’ve joined him along side his boyfriend Suna, however Osamu was too sick and had to spend his days in the hospital. Nearing 19 this wasn’t a way to spend your life, he was young he should be out there, seeing the world, deciding what he wanted to do with his life. Deep down, he always knew what he wanted to achieve. But sometimes dreams didn’t come true and that’s just the way things went. In the last two years his seizures became a lot more frequent along with the killer headaches. When they found out the tumour was cancerous they tried chemo yet it didn’t work. Too this day they were still trying to find out a way to treat Osamu but it hurt so much watching his Twin get sicker day by day. He could remember his first rounds of chemo and how much he cried when his hair started to fall out because of how much he hated being so unwell. Since then his hair had grown back in their natural deep down tone whilst they tried new treatments etc to try cure the sick Male. Atsumu made sure to to visit his brother everyday he’d stay with him as long as he could because who knew how much longer his twin brother would be here. The world was cruel. Atsumu would often cry and ask the universe why his bother deserved this, what had he done to deserve it. How could the world be so cruel to try take away someone who had been with him from the start.

“Samu.” Atsumu said as he entered his twins room dragging his attention to him and away from the window. “I heard you hadn’t had a seizure in two days, thats pretty good right?” Atsumu asked sitting on the edge of his brothers bed. He was beginning to look so frail and week, he was visibly a lot skinnier. 

“Yeah” he said quietly looking back out the window clearly not interested in being conversational. This made Atsumu some what suspicious. 

“Come on Samu...what’s going on” he asked he watched his brothers gaze drop tears filling his eyes, a loud sob escaped his lips as his body begins to shake. Atsumu is quick fo react now he was definitely certain something was up. He wrapped his arms around his twin brother to provide him some comfort. 

“Six months” he said 

“What?” Atsumu said lifting his head in confusion. 

“I have six months left to live Tsumu.” Atsumu felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. 

“No- no Samu, Samu listen to me that’s true yer going to get better, okay? Y’ hear me?!” Osamu just sighed. 

“We knew it was coming. It was just a matter of when.” He said quietly.

“Stop yer blabbering!” Atsumu snapped “yer gonna get better. I ain’t givin’ up till they’ve tried every treatment in the book and out of it” he knew he really shouldn’t be shouting this level of stress could trigger one of Osamu’s seizures. “Yer not gonna die Samu...not now. We promised when we went down separatepaths we’d see who lived a happier life. You don’t just get to give up at Nineteen Samu!” Atsumu could see them rage just ready to implode from his twin. 

“Oh shut yer trap would’ya yer givin’ me a headache!” He snapped placing a hand on his temple. “Do you think I wanted this Tsumu?” Osamu hissed. “Do you think I wanted to be sick? Do you think I don’t hate myself for not being able to play on the court with you one final time before we chose different paths. Y’think I want this? Y’think I want to give up?!” And that’s when it happened, once more his Twins body began to jerk in an unnatural way it was was just one of many seizures Atsumu had witnessed. Yet it never made it any easier for him. He slammed the emergency button as nurses swamped to stabilise the sick brother as Atsumu was escorted out.

“I think you should go home, take a rest. Today can’t have been easy for you.” A nurse said to the blonde haired twin. But Atsumu didn’t want to go. Because he knew deep down the time he had left with his twin was limited.

Part of Atsumu knew this was the beginning of the end for his twin brother. It was just to hard to accept it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deterioration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings can be found in the tags :) 
> 
> Chapter 2 let’s goo sorry it’s slightly short 
> 
> Have a lovely day all :)
> 
> UPDATE- 27/12/20, I’ve been very busy and haven’t had time to update this fic but I will updating it very soon :)

A few days had passed since the twins learnt the limited time Osamu had left in this world. Even a few days on Atsumu refused to believe that his brothers story was coming to and end, refusing to believe his brother was being written out of his life. Even more so than usual Atsumu spent time at the hospital by his brothers bedside. Suna, Osamu’s boyfriend also visited more often. Suna was trying not to turn back to drugs in order to cope yet he couldn’t keep relying on Osamu who was severely sick to keep him afloat. It was his turn to be there for his boyfriend. After all time was limited. Sakusa had done all he could to be supportive and comfort Atsumu, he’d never really been very hands on but was willing to come out of his comfort zone if it meant Atsumu would cheer up for a couple seconds. As Atsumu arrived at the hospital Suna was just leaving he just nodded politely acknowledging Atsumu although he said nothing. The situation meant the pairs friendship had drifted and they usually stayed out of each other’s ways. 

“Hey Samu.” He said sitting on the edge of his brothers hospital bed, Osamu turned to face him looking rather tired, he rubbed his eyes and sat up greeting his brother with an exhausted smile. “How do you feel?” 

”Like I’m dying.” He and we’re bluntly. “It hurts so much-“

”Do you want me to see if the doctors can give you some pain medication?” Atsumu said preparing to stand up to go find as doctor but was cut off by a dismissive hand and Osamu’s shaking head. 

”When it hurts, I know I’m still alive. If you take away my pain I might as well be dead.” He answered simply as Atsumu perched himself back on the end of his bed.   
  
Doctors warned Atsumu and Osamu that his condition would deteriorate fast from this point forward, Atsumu wanted to see his brother smile even if it was just one last time before he passed away. He wanted to spend all his time with Osamu. “You wanna go somewhere?” Atsumu asked looking after at the once grey haired twin his legs dangling off the bed. Osamu raised an eyebrow partially out of confusion. 

“Atsumu you know I can’t leave I’m sick.” Osamu huffed folding his arms across his chest as the blonde shrugged.

”Well there’s a nice garden out the back of the hospital which patients are allowed to visit. You’ve been in this god forsaken room forever you need to get out.” Atsumu pouted which caused his brother to sigh agreeing to Atsumu’s idea as he swung his legs over the edge and stood up however probably a little too fast did his body to manage as he nearly toppled over if it was for his brother holding him up. “Don’t rush yourself. You’re sick.” Atsumu said helping his twin steady himself. Atsumu never remembered Osamu being so light, looking so weak. As if the smallest flick could shatter his frail body. His skin was pale somewhat translucent as he struggled to stand his own too feet. Atsumu kept a grip on him till he was entirely steady. There could come a time that Osamu’s disease could completely prevent him from being able to walk. Atsumu wanted to be able to do this with him why he still had the chance.   
  
Now they were walking through this hospital, this was the first time Atsumu realised how sick his brother really was. He saw how the unwell brother kept losing his footing because his body wasn’t strong enough, he saw how he had to pull him back to steady him. For the first time Atsumu was finally starting to admit that this could be the end. He could feel tears in his eyes but he swiftly blinked them away. “Hey Samu look.” He said pointing to a bush of pale blue flowers. “Y’know Samu. These flowers always reminded me of you.” Osamu rolled his eyes.   
  
“Yer such a sap Tsumu. I’m much more than a flower.” Osamu said folding his arms across his chest. 

“I know, I know. Just..forget it..” he muttered though Osamu didn’t bother to push him for more answers. “It’s just...I don’t want to lose you..Samu we’ve done everything together...what happened to our plans...what am I meant to do without you..I can’t live without you!” Atsumu collapsed to the floor in a fit of sobs his twin brother standing over his sobbing body. He hated himself for this he hated how all of this stress could pile on Osamu. He hated how all this could trigger him into another seizure and if he had to watch his brother go through it one more time he may finally break. Though in the end Osamu crouched down next too the blonde and wrapped his arms around him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn’t as interesting but it’ll get more interesting :>
> 
> Any feedback is lovely :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsumu..?”
> 
> ”Hmm..?”
> 
> ”When I die do we just stop being twins..?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really long wait I’ve been having a super tough time with my name mental health so the motivation to write has been little to none. Anyways here it is chapter 3.
> 
> TW   
> vomiting  
> Seizures

“Tsumu?” 

  
“Hmm?” Atsumu looked up from his fit of sobs to look his brother in the face.

“What are you going to do when I’m gone?” Osamu asked sitting down next to him leaning against his twin who wrapped an arm around his frail shoulders gently tugging the sick one closer. 

  
“I’d rather not think about. I’d rather think about make sure yer getting the best treatment so you get better and don’t have to go through this” Atsumu argued, Osamu let out a weak chuckle. 

  
“Always so stubborn. When are you going to accept the fact I’m going to die?” Osamu asked sadly.   
  
“I’ll never truly accept it. Not until we’ve tried every treatment in the book Samu. I can’t lose the one person whose been through everything with me. We are twins we’re a pair. What am I meant to do if I become half of a whole?...”

”Tsumu..?”

”Hmm..?”

”When I die do we just stop being twins..?”

”No. Never. We are always going to be twins no matter what. You’re always going to be my annoying twin brother and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Samu stop talking like this I’m not letting you slip away so easy.”

”It’s bound to happen soon.”

”Not if I can help it. Anyways. You’re shivering. We’re going inside I don’t need you getting sicker.” Atsumu huffed pulling himself to his feet taking his jacket off and wrapping it around the sick brother to provide a little bit of warmth. “Can you get up?” He asked watching his brother nod and struggle to his feet before stumbling. “Yer pretty weak right now Samu. I got you it’s okay” he said holding onto the Osamu to steady his steps. 

“Tsumu..?”

“Yes Samu?” 

“Don’t feel good-“ he slurred before doubling over and began to empty the few contents of his stomach hot tears rolling down his porcelain cheeks. Atsumu rushed to his side and rubbed circles into his back trying to ease the pain. 

“Hey- hey- Samu don’t cry it’s okay. Yer gonna be okay. Let’s get you back inside.” Atsumu figured Osamu was far to weak at this present time so he picked him up into his arms and carried the trembling figure back to his room. “Do you feel a seizure coming on?” He asked his brother who just shook his head but as it on queue once more his body began to jerk in unnatural ways. Atsumu quickly hit the emergency button as nurses flooded the room trying to stabilise his brother. Atsumu was ushered out the room only to be met with the face of Osamu’s boyfriend. “SunaRin- ah now isn’t a good time.” Atsumu said as the slightly taller male tried to peer past him into Osamu’s hospital room.”

”He’s having another seizure isn’t he.” Suna asked, Atsumu just nodded. 

“They’re getting a lot more frequent. Sometimes he can have multiple seizures a day...Suna he’s so sick- I can’t lose my brother I don’t want him to die!” He sobbed. Suna had never been much of a physically affectionate guy but he pulled Atsumu into his chest and allowed him to cry for as long as he needed too. 

After this seizure Osamu remained unconscious for a couple of days it had taken a lot out of his weakening body. It was around three days later Osamu began to stir, his eyes opened and He began to look around in the room with unfocused eyes. 

“Samu!” Atsumu said seeing his twin was awake. Atsumu noted how his twin jumped at the noise.

”Tsumu..? Is that you..?”

”Who else would it be Samu?”

”Tsumu I can’t see...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s not brilliant slight writers block

**Author's Note:**

> So that’s that. The end of the first chapter. Please let me know what you think :>


End file.
